June 4, 2009: Saving the best living quarters for last
Thursday, June 4, 2009 at 10:15AM I tinkered with this column for four hours yesterday, mostly because I'm holding back a little bit. Or a lot.
What I really wanted to write about is how the girl upstairs has a new boyfriend and they've been going at it like rabbits lately. Her bed is next to the window and the window is open so we can hear everything. Her mattress squeaks, the bed slams against the wall, she screams and he grunts loudly. They are obviously in what my friend Claire calls "the twinkle stage" so I was a little jealous when Ryan sort of chuckled and then immediately started snoring. The guy can fall asleep faster than anyone I have ever met. He can literally be talking or laughing one second and dead asleep the next. It is an enviable quality or skill. He says I keep one foot i this world and one foot in the other world so I have a harder time, and it's true. Sometimes I have to take Xanax, which I get from my dad.
The worst part about hearing her getting some when my guy is dead asleep is I know she can hear me, too. It's one of those things like stinking up the bathroom or farting and hoping no one knows it's you. Everyone does it, there's nothing wrong with it, but it's still embarrassing.
There's also the bus stop, which is just across the street. The bus comes every 20 minutes and idles. It's constant enough to be annoying but not enough to get used to.
It's a rental unit so we can't have a washer/dryer which is something I use every day as a Bikram Yoga instructor. I am in that studio twice a day sweating through my clothes like I just jumped in the pool and you can't just hang them out to dry. I'm sure I'll figure something out.
I'm giving my dog to my parents which is a huge relief on many levels but it's also nerve racking because it's more or less going to be for good. I also know that if he pulls one of his door-tearing freakouts, my mom is going to make him walk the plank faster than the meanest pirate you ever met in your life. I am actually a little bit afraid she is going to kill him and lie to me about it, say it was his diabetes. Even though the dog has been a huge burden on me and done thousands of dollars in damage to my house and car not to mention the homes/doors/fences of various friends of mine, he's still mine. And when he collapsed on Smuggler a few weeks ago after having some kind of diabetic episode, I totally panicked in a way that only a mother does and realized, god damnit, I love this dog like he's my baby. And that sucks because he has been a problem child who has caused mommy lots of heartache.
There are a million great things about moving in but being a neurotic Jew, my worries always cast a shadow on my good time. I finally found this amazing man who loves me for who I am. He takes good care of me and has solid values where I don't, has common sense where I don't. He's so conscious and aware that I don't have to tell him what's bothering me most the time because he already knows and he always makes the effort to correct it--that's a rare quality in a man. We have a fabulous patio with unobstructed views of Aspen Mountain. We have our cruiser bikes and can get anywhere on foot and likely won't have to drive all summer. In many ways, we are living the dream. We are living in Aspen and enjoying all the pleasures of this amazing lifestyle without the cost.
And the last line is true. I've been looking for love since I denied my college sweetheart when he offered to move with me to California in 1995. That hurt him more than I realized, but it hurt me too. The next 14 years would be riddled with ridiculous heartache and pain, bad choices, bad behavior and bad men.
And then one day, it happened just like everyone said it would. I turned the corner, and there he was. He saw me in the same moment I saw him and it was truly love at first sight. I've spent the last five months in complete amazement that the moment was true. Not only has that feeling been sustained, but it's grown. This next step is the biggest we've taken so far, but it's also the biggest blessing.
Ahh, love.
More soon.
Princessox